Getting Back an Ex Husband - Stopping or Avoiding Divorce

Dating is tough, but anyone who's been married knows that marriage is tougher. The social and financial strains between a man and his wife can sometimes be an overwhelming burden, and can often add additional pressures to this type of relationship.

Marriage Problems
Not all marriage problems end in divorce

Marriage is a union or partnership that many avoid for quite some time, simply because they're afraid of the commitment. And while commitment has some drawbacks, the price is usually worth it. The perks and benefits of being married to someone you love can create lasting companionship and security that just can't be measured.

In today's world however, divorce can be a constant threat. It's all too easy to just throw up your hands and give up on a marital relationship rather than try to work things out. Maintaining a home, paying bills, fulfilling a mortgage, having kids... all these things combined with the stress of finding and keeping a job can force an unwanted break where there normally wouldn't be problems.

So if your husband left, or is threatening to leave? You'll need fast solutions to fix or save your marriage. You'll need to know how to avoid divorce rather than let the relationship go, and how to stop the marital downslide of what was once a pretty good relationship.

You'll also need to know your first moves and available options for when you and your husband begin having problems. There are often ways of solving or addressing certain issues while they're still small, before they become big enough to threaten your relationship to the point of impending divorce.

There are proven methods to getting your marriage back on track, if you're willing to learn what they are. These techniques can be used to get back an ex husband, even if he already left, you're currently separated, or even if you're already enmeshed in the process of divorce.

Saving Your Marriage - Putting Things Back to Normal

Most marriages don't unravel all at once, it's usually the combination of many smaller things put together. Unresolved issues that are left unchecked can really pile up, and can cause one or both partners to be unnecessarily unhappy.

Save My Marriage Today

Severe communication issues usually precede a separation or divorce. If your husband stopped communicating or talking to you altogether, it can make getting him back and keeping the marriage together an almost impossible prospect.

For this reason, you need to know exactly how to communicate with your ex husband. To do this, you'll have to put yourself in his shoes, see the relationship through his eyes, and try to understand what he perceives is wrong with things.

What you want - at least for right now - must be put on hold. If he wasn't listening to you while you were still together, your husband certainly isn't going to be sympathetic to your own needs while you're divorced or separated. Men can be stubborn when they feel they're being badgered, so make sure you're not coming off too harshly or overbearing in any contact you might have with him.

Common Marriage Issues That Cause a Husband to Leave

Abandoning a marriage is never the right answer, unless absolutely all avenues and potential solutions have been explored. That said, men will sometimes prematurely bail out of what they perceive to be a bad situation, or one where they see no hope for reconciliation.

And on top of that? There are some reasons why men just plain leave. In truth, men are reactionary creatures. When faced with adversity they usually feel the need to do something, even if that something involves running away.

Men can be stubborn, impatient, and immature. Not all men of course, but these negative traits can get magnified during times when a marriage is in trouble, or when a man feels pressured or forced into a corner regarding one or more issues.

Below are some of the more common reasons men given when filing for divorce or moving out to become separated:

  • Constant Conflict - A man will often leave when the fighting happens on a daily basis. As women get frustrated they can tend to demand certain things be addressed right then and there. This can trigger a guy's fight-or-flight instinct in a very big way.
  • Lack of Sex or Intimacy - Sexual issues and low libido can place a heavy strain on your marriage. No matter who's at fault for the depreciation of your sex life, men usually equate a successful relationship with lots of good sex. A reduction in the quality or frequency of sex could cause a man to leave, or even worse, cheat.
  • Infidelity or Unfaithfulness - Unfortunately we live in a real world with real problems, and infidelity is one of them. If your husband left you for another woman, there are ways of getting him back, wiping away the past, and saving the marriage. And if your husband caught you cheating? There are clean slate techniques you can use to get him to forgive, forget, and eventually trust you again.
  • Imbalanced Distribution of Effort - If your husband feels he's doing more to keep the marriage going than you are, he could get discouraged and abandon it. Make sure you and your husband split the home and marital chores in such a way that things are evenly distributed, so that your marriage becomes a partnership rather than a scoreboard.
  • Not Enough Time Alone - Over the course of an average marriage, your time will be consumed by a number of things. Children require more and more time, work piles up, and social obligations take you away from each other more and more. In time, your husband may feel detached or even abandoned by you, simply because the two of you are not getting to spend enough time as a couple. This enables him to more easily leave, because emotional bonds that were once very strong are now weakened by lack of contact.
  • Putting Children Before the Marriage - In the beginning, it was just the two of you. Some women can lose sight of that, as they focus more on their children than on the relationship between themselves and their husband. This can lead to inward resentment, as men will have a hard time voicing this sort of thing in lieu of loving the children as well. But to keep your marriage strong? Remember that your husband was there first, and the children - although you both love them very much - came later on into the picture.

The above list isn't all-inclusive of course, and it's not limited to men only. Still, you should try to understand your husband or ex husband's viewpoint; how he sees the marriage as a whole, and how he views his relationship with you, his wife. Once you can start seeing things from his perspective, you can start seeing potential solutions from that perspective as well.

Getting Your Husband Back After Cheating

Infidelity is one of the biggest contributing factors leading to divorce. It's can also lead to break-ups or separations that are usually more permanent, as it becomes nearly impossible to trust somebody again once they've cheated on you. Or at least... it feels that way.

Cheating

If your husband was unfaithful or cheated on you, it doesn't have to be the end of the relationship. Similarily, if you were caught by your husband having an extra-marital affair? It's not necessarily an unforgiveable act.

Marriages do survive cheating, and believe it or not, some even bounce back and become stronger than ever before. You never really appreciate something - or someone - until you actually stand to lose it, or them. This lends strength to that recurring old song lyric "don't know what you got, til' it's gone".

The act of being unfaithful isn't always a direct reflection on your marriage: sometimes it's sex, not love. Loneliness, detachment, the feeling of being ignored... these things can lead one or both of you to look elsewhere for emotional AND physical contact, and this can lead to cheating even in the case where a marriage seems totally fine or going well.

The thing to remember about cheating is that it's an unnatural way to end a relationship. Think about that for a second. Normally, two people drift apart because they gradually have different interests or no longer get along. But cheating is usually a one-sided affair - it breaks up a marriage instantly and seemingly irrevocably, and usually without warning.

If your husband cheated on you, this means you didn't get the chance to envision a life without him. You can summon up some instant bitterness over the affair, and even say you hate him, but in reality the love and emotional attachments you felt for him are all still there. Just because he slept with someone doesn't mean you can shatter those things in an instant, and make them go away overnight.

By the same token, if you cheated on him? His own feelings for you are generally still intact. They might be buried for the time being or masked by anger, but the original reasons and attachments that caused your husband to fall in love with you still hold true.

This makes getting back together easier, and it makes saving the marriage possible. For those who think there's no hope at all after cheating, you should check out this marriage-saving resource.




Getting Your Husband Back - Other Tips to Stop and Prevent Divorce

Below are some amazing strategies for getting back with an ex husband. Whether you're still married and trying to save the relationship or you're already a separated or divorced couple, all of these articles are geared toward putting you and your husband back together again.

Fixing a Broken Marriage - Learn very simple things you and your partner can do to salvage an unhappy marriage and ultimately avoid divorce. By bringing your relationship back to a time when you and your husband or wife were inseparable, you can re-create that original team dynamic.(Read More)

How to Know if Your Spouse is Cheating - Before attempting to repair any broken relationship you first need to know where you stand. Learn the telltale signs that your husband or wife might be cheating on you, and what to do if you're still in love with them.(Read More)

Getting Back Together After a Separation - Just because you're currently separated doesn't mean it's the end of your marriage. Learn how to stop your husband or wife from slipping further and further away, and start on the road to putting you back together again.(Read More)

Getting Over a Divorce - Moving on Without Your Spouse - Many people feel lost and alone after a divorce, when it doesn't have to be this way. Find out the best ways to get over a divorce from your husband or wife, and what you can do to put your social life back on track again.(Read More)

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2 Comments

Tr6563_ania    said on 09-13-2011

Communication is hard once you start drifting apart, so don't get frustrated if your ex isn't running right back to you right away. It took about a month of being apart before he actually started talking to me again, but when he did? We got more accomplished that first talk than in *years* of trying to talk through arguments while married!

AntoinetteK.    said on 09-13-2011

You sure you want your husband back? There are lots of other potential husbands out there!

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